Sexcellence
Author: richard jones

Sexcellence is the application of excellence to eros. This amorous journey into the unknown is a heroic quest for evergreen pastures of erotic pleasures; a lovetime of seeking new ways to imparadise one another while sexually intimate. It's the philosophy that sex is best when it's always getting better, and the derivative practice of doing what it takes to grow each time we get it on.

Commitment to sexcellence is an antidote for a dull, disappointing, and dying sex life. Most people find it impossible to maintain enthusiasm for sexperiences that are monotonous or emotionally unfulfilling. Even people only willing to go "so far" wish for ways to constantly add spice to their sex lives. And perhaps this is because growing predictability without growing passion and progression in the bedroom leads inexorably to the feeling that one is doing it just to be doing it or, worst, that one is only being used and thus sexually abused. Sexcellence, on the other hand, is getting our groove on without having to worry about getting too used to one another. It's a way not only to avert stagnation, but to sexperience one another in ways that are always fresh and refreshing.

Sexcellence is improving how well we get it on by first improving how well we get along. The degree of joy we receive from having sex is largely determined by the quality of our relationships with our sex partners. Of course, it's possible to enjoy having sex with people who don't treat us well or for whom we have no true affection. But not for very long. As an emotional experience par excellence, sexual involvement inevitably demands a reckoning of our relationships. So we're compelled, as it were, to eventually evaluate our sex lives in light of how close we are to those we're sexually involved with. The pursuit of sexcellence is a sagacious strategy for attempting to ensure that we enjoy sex more rather than less by making our respective choice of partner preeminent among our priorities.

Persons with potential to be sexcellent partners are not clones even though we have some things in common. We come from all walks of life and collectively form a magnificent mosaic of unique individuals who delight in improvisational intimacy. Ideally, our commonalities should also include the capacity to love, an open mind, a lush imagination, freedom from the known, sensitivity to others, good communication and conflict resolutions skills, a spirit of cooperation, and enough humility to continue learning from and with other human beings who can help us avoid the mire of mediocrity.

Such are some of the salient qualities we must embody to continually experience sexual pleasures the very existence of which we might not have suspected. Such are qualities we should allow to shape our attitudes toward sexperimentation. Such are qualities we should allow to determine our approaches to sexploration. Otherwise, we'll simply be trying new things without strengthening the ties of true intimacy.

If you understand this concept of sexcellence, then perhaps you understand why I'm not about to conclude these reflections by suggesting specific sex acts, positions, props, and "toys" with which to sexplore. It matters not what your partner and you do as long as it's done in a spirit of love. Neither does it matter whether you prefer terms like "kinky" and "freaky"; for sexcellence by any other name is still sexcellence - a wonderful way of living and relating to our significant others that entails, among other things, viscerally creative and compassionate sexpression.






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richard jones is writer living in Detroit, Michigan. For more information about him, please visit www.iamrj.com

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