Seven Tips for Preventing Infidelity
Author: Shirley Glass Ph.D.

1. Maintain appropriate walls and windows. Keep the windows open at home. Put up privacy walls with others who could threaten your marriage.

2. Recognize that work can be a danger zone. Don't lunch alone or take coffee breaks with the same person all the time. When you travel with a co-worker, meet in public rooms, not in a room with a bed.

3. Avoid emotional intimacy with attractive alternatives to your committed relationship. Resist the desire to rescue an unhappy soul who pours his or her heart out to you.

4. Protect your marriage by discussing relationship issues at home. If you do need to talk to someone else about your marriage, be sure that person is a friend of the marriage. If the friend disparages marriage, respond with something positive about your own relationship.

5. Keep old flames from reigniting. If a former lover is coming to the class reunion, invite your partner to come along. If you value your marriage, think twice about having lunch with an old flame.

6. Don't go over the line when you're on-line with Internet friends. Discuss your online friendships with your partner and show him/her your e-mail if he/she is interested. Invite your partner to join in your correspondence so your Internet friend won't get any wrong ideas. Don't exchange sexual fantasies online.

7. Make sure your social network is supportive of your marriage. Surround yourself with friends who are happily married and who don't believe in fooling around.

Copyright © 2003 Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D.

The above is an excerpt from:
Not "Just Friends"
Protect Your Relationship from Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal
By Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D. and Jean Coppock Staeheli
Published by Free Press; .00US/.50CAN; 0-7432-2549-X

NOT "Just Friends" is the long-awaited, groundbreaking new book by Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., whom the New York Times has called the "godmother of infidelity research." Full of astonishing revelations, NOT "Just Friends" draws on more than two decades of original studies and hundreds of clinical cases to document the new crises of infidelity. NOT "Just Friends": Protect Your Relationship from Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal (The Free Press; .00) reveals that, in this crisis, today's workplace is the foremost breeding ground for extramarital affairs. Good people in good marriages-men and women who say they're happily married-are unwittingly crossing the line between platonic friendship and romantic love. We are right to be wary when we hear our partners assert, "I'm telling you, we're just friends."

Whether you are an involved partner, a betrayed partner, an affair partner -- or a therapist who would welcome a proven, trauma-based approach to healing infidelity -- you will find wise, nonjudgmental counsel in NOT "Just Friends."






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Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist with a diplomate in family psychology. She is also a licensed marriage and family therapist and a fellow of the American Psychological Association. The New York Times has referred to Dr. Glass as "the godmother of infidelity research." She has been conducting research on extramarital relationships since 1975. In addition, she has learned about the trauma of infidelity from the couples she has treated in her private practice in the Baltimore area. Her relationship expertise has made her a media favorite who is frequently cited in USA Today, the Los Angeles Times, Psychology Today, Redbook, Glamour, Ladies' Home Journal, Men's Health, and Newsweek. She has appeared on Good Morning America, Oprah, Today, and Fresh Air on NPR. She has been married for more than forty years and has three adult children.

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