WHY WE PICK THE MATES WE DO
Author: ANNE TEACHWORTH, MA

How did you pick your mate? Was it her look? Was it his sense ofhumor? Was it his warmth, energy, and enthusiasm? Was it her friendly demeanor?

Most people are surprised when I tell them that the reason they think theyselected their mates is very different from why they really did. In fact, whywe choose anything from an ice cream flavor to the person with whom we plan tospend the rest of our lives, is not a result of what we really want but of howwe're subconsciously programmed to select or reject what we want. Most of ourpreferences don't come from our conscious mind.

We believe in love at first sight when actually most relationships begin aslove at second sight. You'd be surprised to learn how your subconsciousattraction mechanism truly works. You'd be amazed how quickly the PsychogeneticSystem I have developed can improve your relationship patterns......fromselection to solution.

The Selection Test I use provides singles and couples more insight into theirreal reasons for selecting their past, present, and/or future mates than theycan discover from ten years of seminars, counseling, and contemporary how-tobooks, and the Selection Test takes only ten minutes to take.

For decades, popular books on the subject of finding a mate have reinforced themyth that singles can consciously search for the ideal person they want tomeet. Lonely readers have been encouraged to list qualities they most wanted ina mate and told to carry such lists around with them to local singles dancesand supermarkets. The problem with these suggestions is that they don't work.Consistently most people will ignore what they said they wanted in a mate,trust their attraction instincts instead and go on to unknowingly make the sameselection mistakes over and over again. Inadvertently, they stumble heart firstinto the rush of falling in love. The "happily ever after" fantasiesof their deepest self are activated. The new lovers picture themselves feelingthat way forever....until reality sets in and the relationship doesn't work outthe way they had hoped. Until now we haven't even know why that happens!

If you've ever been wildly attracted to someone who wasn't good to you or foryou, in love with someone you didn't like or unable to find the kind of partneryou always wanted to be with, you are one of the thousands of people who areexperiencing a conflict between what your conscious mind wants and what yoursubconscious mind needs. (PS. The subconscious mind wins every time....it is thepart of you that is in charge of finding a perfect match for you.)

"Even though I pick completely different kinds of partners than myex," a divorcee mused, "I keep getting the same horrible results eachtime. Can your Selection Test tell me why the same thing keeps happening in allmy relationships?"

The answer is a resounding YES!

Do you want to meet the perfect mate for you? Do you want to improve yourrelationship with the mate you've already met? Do you want to get married againand live happily ever after this time? Taking the Selection Test included in mybook WHY WE PICK THE MATES WE DO and reading the interpretations will show younot only why you've been magnetically drawn to certain partners in the past, butalso will help you change your attraction pattern in the future. You can learnto master your subconscious attraction mechanism and stop having dead-endrelationships. Certainly you may have learned something from each mistake, butsometimes that hindsight isn't even 20-20.

Experience is a tough teacher in affairs of the heart. You may never know whatwent wrong in each relationship. Partners breaking up rarely tell you theunbiased truth. For years, singles and couples alike have been waiting for themagic formula to fall into their hands so they can know how to have therelationships they want with the partners they want. Well, here it is!

WHY WE PICK THE MATES WE DO is the result of my twenty years as a therapist,counseling and studying couples. During this time, I became increasinglyconvinced that the troubles most couples have after marriage are not justadjustment difficulties, but latent personality changes which only surfaced astheir relationship journeyed from one stage to another. Some of the universallaments I have heard about these stages are:

1) "He wasn't like this when we were just dating."
2) "Everything was fine until we had sex."
3) "If I'd had any idea living with her would have been like this, I neverwould have moved in together."
4) "We never should have gotten married, but it's too late now."
5) "Things were fine between us until we had children."

Truly, there is nothing so heartbreaking as having children with the wrongpartner. Many a saddened client has asked me "Isn't there some way to knowBEFORE I get married how it will be AFTER?". That is exactly what theSelection Test can predict. You can actually learn how to break free from yourfaulty relationship compass of the past once you know what type of person itpoints you toward. You can learn to redirect your attraction antenna to pick upthe subconscious signals that will steer you in the direction of a betterpartner. You can learn to tune into your perfect mate and tune out the blaringdiscord that your hidden relationship pre-programming has produced for you inthe past. You can change your attraction pattern.

The Selection Test in the first part of my book is simple and fast. I've seenit work hundreds of times in my private sessions and workshops. It has helpedcountless individuals overcome the fear, anxiety and endless frustrations thathave resulted from years of misery-creating choices. The Selection Test takesthe guesswork out of the mating game by predicting what a relationship with apotential partner will be like before you even get involved with that person.

If you are already married, WHY WE PICK THE MATES WE DO will identify thehidden problems at the core of your relationship and show you how to correctthem so you can easily achieve the future you always wanted. This step-by-stepguide to happily ever after is filled with examples I have collected from overa thousand case studies.

The Psychogenetic System is to theoretical or complex. It works predictably andreliably with any person or relationship and will tell you why you wereattracted to certain types of partners in the past, too. It has been accuratefor teenagers and the elderly alike, and has proven itself valuable time andtime again as the most important key to making successful life mate choices.People everywhere have been able to reprogram their negative relationshippatterns once they finally understood what was really going on insidethemselves. To paraphrase Tom Robbins, "It's never too late to have ahappy relationship."






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Excerpted from WHY WE PICK THE MATES WE DO, by Anne Teachworth, MA,Director of the Gestalt Institute of New Orleans/New York, Inc., in privatepractice specializes in couple counseling from selection to solution. Shetravels in the US and Europe presents workshops on the Psychogenetics System ofcounseling described in her book. Check out her website, www.gestalt-institute.com or call 504 828 2267. Anne's book, WHY WE PICK THEMATES WE DO, a step-by-step program to select a better partner or improve therelationship you are already in (1997), is only and available on Amazon.com


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------