Your boss is hostile…what do you do?
Author: Caroline Jalango

Are you working at a job where the boss has no interpersonal skills; micro-manages you and treats you like a child?

Do you work for a fault finding boss who yells and screams and talks to you in an arrogant and demeaning manner? Are you are tired of walking on eggshells at work because any small thing could set off an “explosion”

Is your boss hostile?

If you work for a hostile boss and nothing has been done to resolve the situation, you probably have found out that on many occasions, you have sleepless nights, you are depressed, your blood pressure has risen, you have constant migraines, you are losing or gaining weight, your friends think you whine too much, because all you talk about is your job and your boss, your self esteem is beginning to erode and you are just so frustrated.
Since this is a situation you have to deal with everyday, you are also starting to feel helpless.

This whole thing with work and the boss is consuming your life and it’s taking a toll on your health!

How do you handle working with a hostile boss?

Most people try to handle this by complaining to their co-workers, friends and family about how badly the boss is treating them, they cry their eyes out in the bathroom or in their cubicles, they keep journals to record every incident (date and time included) hoping to use it as evidence if the need arises, they make a couple of trips to an ineffective human resource department in order to lodge their complaints, if they are lucky, HR arranges a one on one meeting with the boss to try and resolve the situation, they come to work depressed, stressed out and vowing to quit after giving their bosses a piece of there mind (not recommended) and so forth. In most cases, all this happens to no avail.

How can you adequately deal with this situation and get back your life?

1. Start looking for another Job.

If your efforts to resolve the situation are not working out and your health is at risk…the sooner you start exploring other options, the better.

While still holding on to your job, find out if you can be transferred to another department internally. At the same time, do everything in your power to mount an aggressive job search externally. Call up temp agencies, send out resumes, call recruiters…do something and do it quickly.

As long as you are doing something to get out of the situation, you will get the strength to manage the pressure while still working at your job. However, if after weighing your options and counting the cost, you feel that you can no longer continue to work at your job…jump ship and look for greener pastures elsewhere.

2. Create a protective mental shield around you.

This is a work survival skill you can use to block negativity at work. I call it “the see no evil, hear no evil skill”

This does not mean denying that the situation exists. It is just one way of dealing with a situation to protect yourself. In this case, you program yourself to see and hear your boss but not really “see or hear them” Your boss could be yelling at you, but you purposely let it slide as if you did not hear anything. This helps not only protects your mind but also helps you retain control over the situation.

3. Stand up for yourself.

Confront the situation…don’t run away from it. Bullies do exist in the work place and that bully could be your boss. The more you cower, run and hide; the more power you take away from yourself.

Each time you don’t speak up against something you consider an “injustice” towards you…you feel bullied, abused, violated and powerless. Then you begin to lose your self esteem and confidence. When you stand up for yourself and attempt to right the wrong…you take back your power. This can be tough, because your paycheck is on the line…but, sometimes you too have to be tough.

For instance, the next time your boss yells at you in the presence of others…muster the courage to say something simple and professional like,” can we talk about this in private?” I am sure that even if the boss does not agree to a private conversation, he/she will probably think twice about yelling at you in public.







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Caroline Jalango is a life coach for unstoppable women who are willing to step up to the plate and take a shot at living exceptional lives wherever they are. caroline@motivationzone.com www.motivationzone.com

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