Make Fear of Failure Your Work In Progress
Author: Kimberly A. Chorosiewski

Fear of failure has played an important role in the lives of many children, athletes, parents and businessmen around the globe. Fear of failure has inspired some of the greatest feats on this planet. This fear has also crippled many from pursuing their dreams. People see failure as a weakness.

"Fear is a negative wish. The more you focus on what
you fear, the more likely you are to make it happen."
-The Magic Lamp

The fear of failure as it relates to performance has a duality that can weigh favorably or unfavorably on the mind of a performer. On one hand, a risk may not be taken for fear of negative consequences or failure. On the other hand, fear of failure can push a performer to be reckless, without regard for their surroundings.

The secret is to find a balance. Use fear of failure as a driving force and not as a steel curtain. This is something that involves acknowledgement, communication, acceptance, and the ability to recover from a setback. Finding balance also includes the ability to surrender as a vital characteristic to overcoming the fear of failure.

The first part of overcoming anything is acknowledging that there is a problem (fear). Confide in someone whom you trust and can help give you direction. If you have a fear of investing, ask around to find a financial planner that others trust. Interview that individual and be clear about your fears. Communicate about what you want to accomplish. If you don't know, stop and listen to the possibilities.

Ask questions. The only questions that are "dumb" are the one's that are never asked. By asking questions, you can clarify what has been explained to you. Remember that you are not an expert in everything.

Once you understand, accept all the possibilities. Prepare to control the factors that you can and try to understand that which is not in your control. Measure your progress or allow someone you trust and is knowledgeable to give you feedback.

One of the greatest fears among Americans is the fear of speaking in public. More succinctly, the fear of looking like a fool in public. To help manage or overcome this fear, many turn to Toastmasters International ? This organization has provided a safe environment for those to cultivate the skills of communication and listening.

An organization such as Toastmasters?allows someone to acknowledge their fear. People communicate that fear to the group and decide to accept the programs of the organization as a tool to overcoming this fear. Feedback is clear, concise, and supportive and is in a non-threatening environment.

Perhaps the most important element to allowing the fear of failure to work in your favor is the ability to surrender yourself and your method of progress to another person whom you trust. This can be a teacher, mentor or a parent.

The clearest example is a student-athlete surrendering their abilities to a coach whom they trust. A coach provides guidance and a clear direction to prepare and develop the athlete. The athlete becomes a work in progress. Situations are presented to prepare an athlete (or team) through training. This training allows the athlete (or team) to experience setbacks or failures in training so that they are reduced in competition. There must be acceptance of setbacks by the athlete and coach to forge ahead.

The relationship between a mentor and a mentee can be one of the greatest growing experiences for those involved. A failure is a healthy indication that there is work in progress.

We have no friends;
We have no enemies;
We have only teachers.
-Anonymous








--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kim Chorosiewski, M.Ed. is the Head Women's Lacrosse Coach at the University of Richmond (Richmond, VA). She was a two sport All-American at the University of Maryland. She was the starting goalkeeper for both the 1986 NCAA Championship Lacrosse Team and 1987 NCAA Championship field hockey team. Chorosiewski earned mer master's at the College of William & mary in Virginia. She ahs been a member of the US National Field Hockey team and a member of the US lacrosse Squad.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------