Identifying Loneliness & Rising Above It
Author: Dr. Liara M. Covert

Loneliness describes a sense of incompleteness within us. This emptiness is separate from physically being alone. We can experience it even when surrounded by friends if we fail to connect with them, ourselves, or to strengthen our relationships. Most people normally know intermittent loneliness, such as when temporarily separated from a loved one. It’s not a problem unless it becomes frequent and all-consuming.

This kind of hollow feeling may relate to a personal inability to identify our talents and value ourselves. We need to recognize the power of positive thinking. People who don’t understand their holistic person could benefit from friendly reminders and a little guidance. Apathy, laziness or passively standing by without making efforts to rise out of the doldrums, all perpetuate loneliness. Such behaviour can always be turned around.

When loneliness touches on our esteem and self-confidence, it can negatively affect our more general well-being. Growing distant from people we care about may lessen our desire to communicate hidden thoughts and feelings. Where loneliness leads us to be reluctant to trust, we may hesitate to confide and share our true self, including hopes and fears, with others. We need to do this to overcome any emotionally-draining, negative thinking.

Granted, mistrust in relationships may evolve, at least in part, from our own pain and suffering. But, to move past loneliness and to rise above the hardship it represents, we can teach ourselves to trust again, to take risks and seize chances as they come. Our new wisdom can help.

Embracing loneliness, including those sinking feelings, doesn’t have to perpetuate anxiety or a sense of helplessness. People enter our lives in timely fashions. We can learn to recognize and share ourselves with people who accept us for who we are. The expectations to deal with then, become our own.

To stop feeling lonely, we need to accept the ups and downs of life, to see the benefits to all that happens to us, and in all that we choose to make happen. Expressing our feelings of loneliness is the way we learn to control our emotions rather than letting them control us. We could benefit from self-expression in the arts or sciences, by doing anything that sets our soul free, especially interacting with or promoting dialogue with other people.

Expressing feelings honestly leads us to discover how our life experiences are inter-connected, from job changes and life transitions- (e.g., birth-retirement-loss), to broken relationships, environmental issues and even making efforts to explore our own inner growth. We need to understand the reasons for our feelings and how they influence our thinking and attitudes. As we identify these connections, we’ll find it easier and more natural to embrace who we wish to become.

Becoming active gives you energy and sparks motivation. You’ll forget about feeling lonely, jumpstart your mood, seize opportunities to meet and interact with people, and provide yourself with new stability where goals exist as you look ahead. Get involved in things you once enjoyed or new things that appear fun. A new outlook will blossom.

Rising above loneliness can only truly happen from a desire inside our own soul, from efforts to nurture and strengthen our connections with people, Higher Forces and our own spirituality. Discovering the joy to be found in being alone can bring a sense of relief and empowerment. Until we face inner fear, we can’t move beyond it. Believe in yourself!







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A specialist in communications and cross-cultural matters, this published writer & consultant motivates and inspires clients with a think-positive philosophy.

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