Get to know yourself
Author: Andre Jackson

You became what you believe you are.

We are the products of our belief, if you believe in failure more than success, then you will fail. If you believe in success more than failure, then you will succeed. Our failings do not mean that we are failures, we have a bad habit of personalizing events that don’t work out for us. “o.k. so this particular event has failed, so that means that I am a complete failure, in every way possible, always will be, I will stop trying now and live the rest of my life in this wasted space that I call a life"aarrgg!!! What a defeating statement. What this person needs to realize is that failures in events do not equal failures as a person! To this person, this was yet another ’confirmation’ that he was a failure. He was looking for confirmation, and he got it, why? Because we always look out for and notice what we believe. If you believe you are a failure, you will look and find it everywhere. If you believe you are a success, you will look and find it everywhere. This is called ‘directional focus’ if I asked you to quickly stop what you are doing and look around the room or area you are in now, come back to this book when you have finished (about 10 seconds)...nothing much to go on because I haven’t given you clear instructions on what to look for, but now, if I said to look for everything with the colour green in it, your eyes would be drawn to the colour green, and the room or area that you scanned over before, takes on a whole new look. The same works for our life’s too. We notice things more because we have given ourselves instructions to notice things.

Do you notice this?
“look for the negative”.
“everyone is better than me”.
“I am useless”
“I must find fault in everyone, so I feel more important”.

Or do you notice this!,

“Look for the positives”
“I am successful”
“I am always looking and learning about myself”.
Did you also notice that when you looked for the colour green, that you didn’t see the colours, blue red, orange or black! Our intensity in our focus blocks out other colours, they are there, we just didn’t see them.


Know who you are!

One of the main reasons we find it a struggle to achieve, is because we don’t know who we are, we know what we want to show the world, but we don’t know ourselves, confidence starts with knowing who you are. True confidence is displayed from the inside out, the source of strength is from the inner you, confident people display themselves to the world and don’t care about the consequences of their exposure, confident people don’t use up energy trying to act for what other people’s expectations are of them. These people have a renewable energy source, themselves. Learn to know you strengths and weaknesses, learn about what you standards and boundaries are, know what you will and won’t tolerate in your life. Train other people on how to treat you, and then you won’t have to walk in their shadow So here’s how!



Standards and boundaries.
Standards and boundaries are the rules and regulations that we govern ourselves by, our standards are what is acceptable to us in relation to ourself, and our boundaries are what we will accept or tolerate from other people.

The rule is: fix you boundaries and raise you standards, boundaries are like a fence around a house, build it so there are no gaps in the fence so ‘strays’ don’t come into your ‘property‘. standards are your personal foundation, do you want more quality out of life? raise your standards then you will get it.

Train other people on how to treat you.
In every action we do, we are training other people on how we should be treated, much like training a dog. And how we think we should be treated, depends on our self view. So if you don’t like the way that you are being treated, pull on the choker chain, speak the correct command with authority, not aggression, and let the training begin! Like dog obedience school, people who are being ‘retrained’ by you, will get a shock the first time you voice your command, but after time, repetition and rewards (not doggy biscuits though), they will treat you with the respect and honour that you deserve, if they don’t why are you holding on to them, send them to a new home.

Listen to yourself.
We all talk to ourselves in different ways and forms. Internal dialog is going on all the time, reinforcing both negative and positive patterns of thought. What we say to ourselves, no matter how secret those thoughts are, show themselves in our words and actions, because “we are the result of what we think” Learning to listen to yourself is the start of understanding yourself, listen to your fears, your beliefs, your ambitions, you worries, listening to these things will bring out the inner you, but this is contradicting what we have been taught how much of your life is spend with your hands over your ears singing the “laa laa laa” song. Listen to yourself without labelling yourself. Next to walking on water, This has to be the most hardest task to achieve, often the labels we attach to what we say to ourselves are limiting and self defending. The first step in confidence is to listen to what these messages are, and kill them off. we use up a lot of energy in acting, energy that could be used in achieving what you want, a fuller and exciting, purpose driven life, Successful people have learned to listen to themselves, therefore understanding who they are, they also realize that by understanding who they are, they then have created a foothold so they can climb up to reach their life goals and ambitions.







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I am a development and performance coach, residing in New Zealand.I specalise in motivational and personal empowerment for you.

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