What Are You Doing In Front Of Your Children?
Author: Jan Tincher

Kids mimic their parents, even if they don't understand what is going on. What are you doing in front of your children?

Do you want to be spontaneous in the act of making love, and does that mean in front of the kids? Regardless of the consequences?

And what are the consequences? This, perhaps? You have company. The children are playing. Your little boy mimics his father's actions to the doll on the floor, duplicating the actions in how he perceived them.

Will those children be allowed to play together once the parents of the other kids see that happening *once too many* times? What has happened here? Friends are very important to children.

Do you get angry? What do you do when you are angry? Do you let that anger show, regardless of the consequences?

And what are the consequences? This, perhaps? You have company. The children are playing. Your child gets angry and hurts another child.

Will those children be allowed to play together once the parents of the other kids see that happening *once too many* times? What has happened here? Friends are very important to children.

Do you cheat? Do you cheat, regardless of the consequences?

And what are the consequences? This, perhaps? You have company. The children are playing. Your child cheats at a game and all the kids get upset.

Will those children be allowed to play together once the parents of the other kids see that happening *once too many* times? What has happened here? Friends are very important to children.

And, since friends are very important to children, shouldn't they be very important to you?

What are we telling -- doing in front of -- our kids? We need to tell and show them what is acceptable. Making love is great, but not for little people AND not in front of little people who are learning life and who have no idea what is going on. Some say, *But they are going to learn it somewhere, sometime.* Do you let them swear? Punch someone in the nose? Urinate over the bushes downtown? *They may not have learned it downtown, but that's where they'll probably try it out.*

They learn MORE from people they love and respect. They learn FASTER from people they love and respect. They MODEL people they love and respect.

The next time you say or do something in front of your children, or any children for that matter, look at what you are doing and make sure it is something you want or can accept being repeated -- right in front of your eyes.

*** NOTE: All is not lost if you do see something you don't like repeated right in front of your eyes. Let your mind go back over your actions and see if YOU were the one who taught them to do that. If so, the next time you are doing it in front of them say something like, *Oh! I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. I won't do that again, OK?* We all make mistakes. Apologizing is VERY acceptable behavior. Show it to children all the time.

Children live what they've learned. What are you teaching them?

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Copyright 2001, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide

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