Creating Emotional Breathing Room
Author: Sally Adams

There are people all over the planet who know what it is to have life so crammed with activity there is no possibility for passion. There are days when we feel we can do nothing but react. These are the times when having some emotional breathing room can make a huge difference in our physical response. In other words, it can mean the difference between having joy and laughter in the face of adversity or having only exhaustion and tears.

The times when we have the least emotional breathing room are the times when we are in a constant state of high stress. Stress operates like a vacuum cleaner sucking up any extra space in your psyche. This vacuum sucks up emotional breathing room. Soap stars and martyrs don’t even notice when that space is missing. They just assume being without it is a natural state. I’ve known people in my life who are so mired in the mechanics of living that there is no space left for life. If, however, you even sense that there might be more then you are ready to begin your search for passion.

Creating breathing room where passion can exist is not, as I once believed, a frivolous activity reserved for selfish wealthy people. It is a necessity if your life is to have any meaning. Without breathing room you begin to operate like one of those mechanical elves making toys in the department store Christmas windows. We perform the same tasks over and over. We might slow down or speed up, but for the most part, it’s “raise hammer, turn head, lower hammer, repeat.” It reminds me of something someone told me: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. If I collect everyone’s laundry from all over the house, never ask for help, do it all myself and then yell at everybody for not helping with the laundry, the result is that next time I’ll collect everyone’s laundry from all over the house, never ask for help, do it all myself and then yell at everybody for not helping with the laundry. It’s a vicious cycle. No wonder laundry is such a pain in the rear. It feels futile because it is futile. What if I gave myself some breathing room around the laundry by having everyone bring his or her own laundry to the washer? Maybe this week everybody does a load making three fewer loads for me to do.

Breathing room can also be putting things into your life that fill you up. For some people it’s doing yoga, for others it’s having coffee with friends or taking a long bath, journaling or listening to your favorite music. Even if you’re doing this activity for only an hour a week, you must give yourself permission to have breathing room so when life’s challenges do occur, and they’ll sneak up on you, you are prepared to meet that nasty life-sucking vacuum with the power of emotional breath.







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Sally Adams has been an inspirational instructor for nearly 20 years. Thousands of students have entered her classrooms. She’s taught in a variety of prestigious programs as a master teacher from elementary through adult levels. Her writing background includes regular columns and features for several award winning regional publications. Sally is currently a consultant and seminar leader for the company she started, www.dreamtheextreme.com where readers can find her book, From Martyr to Mentor: Creating Passion From Within.

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