The Sexual Abuse of Children
Author: J. Bailey Molineux

Although her stepfather had been sexually molesting her for years, Jenny never told anyone about it because she was afraid what would happen if she did. When she finally did disclose his abuse of her, her mother reacted with angry shock and told her never to say such awful things about her stepfather again.

After that, the only way Jenny could stop the abuse was by running away.

Whether or not it is occurring more often or being reported more often, the incidence of reported sexual abuse of children has increased in America. Studies have shown that one out of four women, and one out of ten men, state they were sexually abused as children.

The stereotypical image of the sexual offender as a stranger lurking in the dark to attack his victim is erroneous. Most sexually abused children have been molested by a member of their own family or someone known to the family. Only 15 to 20 percent of child molesters are unknown to their victims.

Nor is force commonly used in child molestation. Since the offender is often a close relative, the victim usually has a trusting relationship with him. What is so potentially damaging about child sexual abuse is that relationship of trust is deliberately violated by the offender.

It is difficult to detect signs of sexual abuse in a child or adolescent. She may be depressed, anxious, using drugs or alcohol, self mutilating or having times of dissociation in which she "checks out" and doesn't remember what she did. But these behaviors can be caused by other problems as well.

Any sexualized behavior - sexual acting out, talking about sex at too young an age - are signs, however, that there is a good chance the child or adolescent is being abused.

Most victims - over 90 percent according to research - are telling the truth when they reveal what has been happening to them. Usually the victim has no reason to lie about so serious a matter while the alleged offender has every reason to deny it.

Because of the realistic fears of disclosure - the shame, criminal prosecution and possible break-up of the family - sexual abuse can go on for years before it is discovered. The pressures on the victim not to disclose are enormous. Often, she has been repeatedly warned by the offender not to tell and she is afraid of what might happen to him and her family if she does.

If the disclosure of the sexual abuse is handled calmly and properly and if treatment is provided, the abuse will not necessarily permanently traumatize a victim. But without proper handling and treatment, the effects to the victim can include life-long depression, guilt, self-concept problems, unresolved anger, sexual dysfunctions or hypersexuality and difficulty trusting other people.

Whenever a youth, like Jenny, says she is being sexually victimized, the best strategy is to believe her. She must also be reassured that she has done the right thing by disclosing and that she is in no way responsible for the abuse. Her chances of recovering from the molestation are much greater if she is supported in these ways.

If you suspect that sexual abuse is occurring, you must report it to your local Child Protective Services. The abuse must be stopped as soon as possible, and the only way this can be guaranteed is by notifying the proper authorities. Regardless of what happens to the offender, the protection and safety of the child must be the first priority.












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About the Author: J. Bailey Molineux, a psychologist with Adult and Child Counseling, has incorporated many of his articles in a book, Loving Isn't Easy, Isbn 1587410419, sold through bookstores everywhere or available directly from http://selfhelpbooks.com. Copyright 2002, J. Bailey Molineux and Selfhelpbooks.com, all rights reserved. This article may be reprinted but must include authors copyright and website hyperlinks.

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