Balancing Your Life to Your Personality
Author: Jacqueline McLaughlin Hale

Given that I produce an ezine called "The Balanced Woman" I probably spend more time than most thinking about how to create a life of balance. I have searched and searched for that one magic formula that will work for everybody all the time. What I have found instead is that the basic core of a "balanced life" must revolve around each person's unique personality. If it does not, it is doomed to fail! What do I mean? It struck me this past week while watching my neighbor on vacation from her job.

"Karla" has been described by her family as the "Energizer Bunny". She rarely sits down or still. She is ALWAYS on the move. If she's not working, she's cleaning out every closet in the house, going for a run, entertaining an entire football team of people or taking down every strip of wallpaper in her house and painting instead! Even thinking about all she does makes me tired! Not surprisingly, she goes to bed late and gets up early. She goes, goes, goes and gets a TON accomplished in the process.

I, on the other hand, go to bed early and rise late. I need more than eight hours of sleep and a lot of time for myself. Thinking about all I "should" do overwhelms me and leads me to do not much at all. I HATE to clean, dislike to cook and tolerate laundering only because my family needs clean clothes to wear. If left to my own devices I'd read for hours and surf the net for days. But having some sense of responsibility I DO cook; I DO clean and I DO make sure that there's food in the fridge. It's just that I "could" do so much more.

I could order those valences for my windows that I've been swearing I'll get, for the last two years. I could pick out that new bedspread I've wanted for 14 months now. I could clean out the toys in the backyard and take all that "stuff" to Goodwill that's been sitting in the garage for months. I could clean out my kitchen cupboards. I could organize the linen closet. There's so much I COULD do--but I don't.

Karla, on the other hand, could take time for herself. She could read that book she's wanted to read. She could take that luxurious, relaxing soak in the tub. She could go out for a long, leisurely, sinful dinner. She could spend more time with her spouse or kids. There's so much she doesn't HAVE to do--but she does.

Karla and I must try to balance our lives in very different ways. If I try to pack every day with as many activities as I can, I'll most assuredly set myself up for failure. Conversely, if Karla tries to slow her days down, she will fail too. She is the hare; I am the tortoise. These are personality characteristics inherent within us and distinctly our own. Without GREAT effort neither one of us can change that significantly. So we must learn to work within the framework of who we are to achieve the same goal.

First, we both must define exactly what it is we need to do to put more balance into our lives. This is unique to each person. A life of balance is one that WE define for ourselves, not one that is defined for us by others. Then we must replace some of our current activities (or lack of activities, in my case) with efforts that are more in line with what we really want to achieve.

Karla might decide that she wants to spend more time with her kids. If so, she could replace cleaning the closets with playing catch with them or going for a walk. They could all go to the beach or shopping at the mall. Whatever they choose to do together, they should make sure that they're actually "doing" something because that's the kind of person Karla is.

I might decide I want to complete some of tasks I've been going to "get around to doing". If so, I must replace SOME of the time I spend reading or surfing the net on other, more productive activities. I could make a "to do" list daily and chip away at the projects I want to complete.

I'll be more likely to be successful if I break down some of the bigger tasks into smaller, more manageable pieces. Instead of promising myself that I'll clean all of the kitchen cupboards, I could clean out one at a time. In just a few weeks, the whole kitchen will eventually be completed. Instead of tackling the whole linen closet in one day I could work on a quarter of it at a time, until it has been organized in its entirety. Instead of spending an entire day shopping for and ordering valances, I could measure the windows one-day, pick out fabric for the valances the next and actually order them on another day still. I could set aside just 15 minutes every day to do something I should do, like vacuuming the house. But whatever I do, I must make sure that my "to do" list is never too long or I'll quickly burn out and give up completely.

Observing Karla this past week and comparing our styles, I learned that there is no magic formula for putting balance back into your life. What works for one may not work for another because we are all inherently so different. But one thing is for certain, both the hare and the tortoise ultimately finished the race. And in the end, that's all that matters¡¦








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Jacqueline McLaughlin Hale is a CPA and the editor of Between Friends: Resources for Mothers (http://www.betweenfriends.org) Between Friends contains household hints, time management tips, articles on organization, parenting, money management, career, self employment, self improvement and more! Subscribe to its FREE monthly ezine, The Balanced Woman. Visit today!

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