The Power of the Present Moment
Author: Joseph Mathews

The Power of the Present Moment


“Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by day, in all the thousand small, uncaring ways.”
Stephen Saint Vincent Benet

Guiding Principle:
Live today well.

Objective:
To learn how to relate to time in a way that generates a positive sense of priority, urgency and action.

I am blessed by having several “soul mate” quality friends and one of these soul mates is Dan. When Dan and I became friends, he and his wife Christine had been married for ten years.

Two years earlier, Christine had been in the hospital to have her gall bladder removed. After the operation, the surgeon informed them that although Christine’s gall bladder operation was a success, in the process he discovered that Christine had cancer. The cancer had advanced, attacking and destroying most of her major internal organs. There was nothing more that the doctor could do. He projected that Christine had about two more years to live.

After a period of brokenhearted shock, Dan and Christine quickly regrouped, committing to do the most with the little time they had left together. They spoke simply and directly with each other, for miscommunication wasted time. They spoke openly and honestly, for pretense wasted time. They loved and forgave, for judging and resenting wasted time. Rather than wallow in self-pity, Dan and Christine invested time in being present to the simple joy of being alive.

Dan’s personal breakthroughs carried over into his professional life. Over the next two years his career thrived and his income almost doubled. I asked Dan, “How do you keep your spirits up and remain so productive?” He replied, “After Christine is gone I will have plenty of time to be sad. She helps me to focus on the time we still have together and not on what will happen in the future.” Dan said that they are committed to completing their relationship with no regrets.

Dan and Christine did not invest their time brooding over what their lives could have been. Instead they lived moment to moment, accepting and making the most out of what was. Dan has taught me that the ability to live above my current circumstances comes from my accepting these circumstances exactly as they are, without wishing that they were any other way. Dan and Christine didn’t merely live above their circumstances, they soared above them.

Christine related to having cancer the same way that other people relate to having freckles. Her cancer wasn’t bad; it just was.

Because Christine was so accepting of her disease, I felt comfortable asking her, “What is it like for you to wake up every morning knowing that you are so close to death?”
Without thinking she responded to me with another question, “Joe, what is it like for you to wake up every morning pretending that you aren’t?”

She continued to say that when she finally accepted and embraced death, she experienced life. She saw life as a priceless and precious gift that other people were afraid to open. She possessed a screaming desire to tell people to rip open the box and enjoy what is inside. She told me that when she tries to get that message across to people, they don’t seem to get it. I decided that I wasn’t going to be one of them.

Inside of Christine’s words I heard the words of King Solomon who once said, “Death is the destiny of every man. The living should take this to heart.” I finally understood why contemplating your own death was not morbid, but wise. Death creates a deadline, a deadline creates urgency, urgency creates action, and action produces results. Wise people often consider that they just moved closer to their own death and then they take action on the things that matter and produce great results in those areas.

Although we spoke briefly a few times over the phone, I had only met Christine one time before she died. What you read was the extent of our only face to face conversation. I was a stranger when Christine challenged me with her probing question, “What is it like living your life pretending you aren’t about to die?” However, Christine didn’t have time for strangers. She was dying, so she forged close friendships at warp speed.

Dan later told me that although Christine wasn’t afraid of dying, she was afraid that few people were going to attend her funeral because her life didn’t make a difference.
My wife Mari and I attended Christine’s funeral. The people whom Christine expected to attend were there.

There were also well over a hundred people whom she hadn’t expected. At her funeral everyone who chose to had an opportunity to share what Christine meant to them. Many spoke, and most of them had only met Christine during that brief time when she was ill. They all recalled similar conversations with Christine about taking a risk and experiencing the gift of life. Through Christine’s impassioned sharing, these people got it. Here is your opportunity to get it too.

Consider for a second that your life is a basketball game. You are standing on the court and your game clock is ticking. God is the timekeeper and He will not stop the game clock. At some point the buzzer will sound and your game will be over. Look around and see how others are playing the game. Some people play as if they are frozen; they hold the ball and are afraid to shoot.

Others pass the ball, hoping someone else will shoot the ball for them. Still others simply sit on the bench, either living inside the empty promise of “I’ll get into the game someday” or waiting for their clock to run out with no expectation of ever playing. Make sure that none of these will be you.

Don’t waste your life just watching the clock tick or pretending that there is no clock. Don’t hold the ball or pass the ball off to anyone else. Certainly don’t sit on the bench, waiting for someone to give you permission to play your game. This is your game to win or lose, so take a shot.

Heroes take a shot. As their ball soars through the air toward their intended target, they experience the fullness of life. Victims hold the ball, pass the ball off, sit on the bench, or take their ball and go home. They experience death by compromise.

Consider that your game has only two certainties. The first certainty is that you will miss 100% of the shots you do not take. The second is that your game will end. If you were going to take a shot with your life, what would that shot be?

Consider that if you take that shot, you must learn to live with risk. If you hold or pass the ball, you must learn to live with regret. If you sit on the bench or take your ball and go home, you must learn to live with apathy.

Of risk, regret, and apathy, which are you now living with?

Dan and Christine elected to live each day with risk. They risked their hearts, minds, feelings and fears for the committed stance that they took to “love, honor and cherish ‘til death do us part.” As a reward, Dan reaped peace and prosperity. Christine reaped a mental wellness that exceeded the limitations of her physical illness.

Most people live in a great illusion perpetuated by the dishonest way that they view time. Most people believe that time is comprised of the past (yesterdays), the present (now) and the future (tomorrows). This is false because everything happens in the present.

Yesterday is gone and cannot be altered, changed or impacted. We speak of tomorrow as if it is on its way. We say things like, "there's always tomorrow” or “I’ll do it someday”, as if we have a written guarantee of tomorrow and “Someday” is the eighth day of the week.

Tomorrow never comes. Tomorrow presents itself as today. The future arrives as a string of current moments, a steady stream of “nows.”

Therefore, all you have is now. All you have ever had is now. All you are guaranteed is now. Your future is determined by every thought you have, every action you take, every word you speak, and every task you complete now. If you are not taking action now on what you say is important in your life and career, you are designing a future now that guarantees that what you say is important never happens. You are setting yourself up for a life of emptiness, resignation and regret. Wake up and cut it out!

The purpose of this step is to radically shift your relationship with time from what it is now to a tool to create a positive sense of urgency, priority and action. You probably relate to time as if time is linear:

Yesterday >>> Tomorrow


You “look back” on yesterday and you “think ahead” to tomorrow. The time line is a “time lie,” for you do not live time in a line. Abandon your “time lie” and live the same time model that Dan and Christine mastered.

Now!


Coaching Exercises:

1. Carry around a pad or a day planner for one week. Record where you are spending your time in 15-minute increments. Pay particular attention to and record unproductive time spent on daydreaming, worrying, wishing things were or weren’t a certain way, being angry or frustrated, complaining, being in a bad mood, and so forth. Analyze where your individual moments are going.
o If you were to do something else with that time, how much more time would you gain?
2. Imagine that today is the last day you will be alive. In that context, answer the following questions:
o What would you do?
o Whom would you call and what would you say?
o What areas of your life are unfinished? What will it take to be finished?
o Do at least one of the activities that you said you would do, finish one of your unfinished items, or make one of the calls that you said you would make and say what needs to be said.
3. If you were going to “take a shot” with your life or career, what would that shot be?
o What would you need to risk if you took this shot?
o What has prevented you from taking that shot in the past?
o What is preventing you from taking that shot now?
4. Write down any insights you gained by doing these exercises.
5. Measure My Desired Result.
o What progress have you made?
o How can you use the lesson from this step to improve your results?








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Joe Mathews is a 20 year veteran of franchising, small business, and personal performance coaching. He is founder and author of The Meaning of Life Project (www.meaningoflifeproject.com) and founder and Head Coach of the Franchise Coaching Company (www.franchisecoach.net).

Joe resides in the beautiful Berkshire foothills of Litchfield, CT with the ones who give his life meaning, purpose and direction: his wife Mari and his three children Taylor, Michael, and Casey.

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