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Rick Saldan is an excellent
inspirational speaker who tailored the seminar to the needs of the
individual students being instructed. This office thanks the Mayors Office
of Information Services for having such a vendor.
Timothy K. Lynch
Office of Fleet Management
City of Philadelphia
Rick has a magical approach that provides a clear and
concise message specifically designed to the needs of his
audience. Rick will provide all the motivational magic you
will ever need, propelling your organization to the next
level of greater success.
Thomas Mulhern
Frontier Communications
Rick Saldan is a compelling and absorbing motivational speaker and
magician.I have been to five of his
Motivational Magic presentations and it is amazing how he keeps our
college audiences on the edge of their seats.
A highly entertaining performer with great comedy flair. Rich content to
increase students' productivity, peak performance and motivation. If you
need an outstanding motivational speaker for colleges, Rick is definitely
one of the world's greatest speakers and magicians!
Dr. Rob Gilbert, Sport Psychologist,
Montclair State University
Rick Saldan has the wit, wisdom and sorcery of a wizard. He
has a dynamic personality, and all will enjoy his
captivating stories, comedy and magic!
Dennis Slaughter
Credit Suisse First Boston
Rick Saldan delivers a first-class show! A pro in every
sense of the word. Funny, unique, entertaining and polished.
Brian Letscher, Actor
Hawaii Five-O, NCIS, Cold Case, Law & Order and The Mentalist.
Rick Saldan is a wonderful combination of master magician, comic
improviser and first class speaker. The audience loved his program, which
was music to our ears. If you love celebrity motivational speakers such as
Tom Hopkins, Dale Carnegie and Zig Ziglar, then you'll love Rick!
Dottie Burman, President
Burtley Productions, Inc.
Rick Saldan
is an incredibly talented performer and motivational speaker with great insight. He shares many powerful
motivational messages that will enhance your life for the better!
Jack Murray, President
Dream Illusions
Rick is one of the best inspirational speakers on
the scene today. Funny, fun loving and highly energetic. If you want to
make your next event into an extraordinary one, then invite professional
speaker Rick Saldan and his amazing Motivational Magic.
Andres Lara, President
Inspiration Times Magazine
The Quest for Intimacy and Passion: Challenges for the ACD Author: Kenneth A. Sprang and Carol Sprang, MA, RNC, LCPC
As you may know, the divorce rate continues to hover around fifty percent, where it has been now for some time. If half of marriages end in divorce today, it is likely that many of you—like me—are ACD’s—Adult Children of Divorce. How has our parents’ divorce affected us and our own quest for love and happiness?
My parents were divorced when I was three. From childhood I vowed not to be one of the fifty percent—I was going to succeed where they had “failed.” Yet, I too, became a statistic when my first marriage of 25 years came to an end, despite valiant attempts by my first wife and me to save it. So now my adult children, too, have joined the ranks of ACD’s.
Much has been written about the effect of divorce on children. However, very little research has been done on the impact of divorce on adults and the challenges of ACD’s in general. A recent study at the University of New Orleans sheds some of the long awaited light.
Among the findings of the study, is that for ACD’s intimacy, trust, commitment, loyalty and passion are more complex issues than for children of intact families. For example, many of us crave the intimacy, yet female ACD’s tend to experience more relationship conflict and to have an increased number of sexual partners than those from intact families, though the same is not true for men. There is some suggestion that in our quest for the intimacy we may confuse casual sexual relationships with emotional intimacy. We also have a tendency to get into relationships or marriage at a young age or to seek to fulfill our emotional needs in relationships that are not healthy.
ACD’s also demonstrate an overall lack of trust with regard to intimate relationships and marriage. Sadly, many of us expect our marriages to fail, at least unconsciously, and we may even sabotage our intimate relationships because of a fear of rejection and lack of trust. Ironically, while we long for affection, seeking the affection which we did not see or experience at home, we may withdraw emotionally from our partners, repeating a coping mechanism learned in childhood.
The option of cohabitation and availability of divorce as an option also impact our attitude toward marriage. Adult children of divorce are more likely to prefer cohabitation to marriage or to say they do not want to marry in the future. Yet we ACD’s are more likely to put ourselves in situations that promote marriage, such as cohabitation.
The most significant finding of the study is that ACD’s are much more concerned with intimacy and loyalty as well as passion in relationships than are adults from intact families. Consequently, our expectations are sometimes unrealistic. We did not see a good marriage model, so we have created one in our imagination. The picture may be lovely, but it is not necessarily realistic.
On the other hand, the study found that ACD’s often demonstrate residual strength and maturity and empathy for others borne of their family divorce experience. As Winston Churchill observed, "The farther back you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see." Armed with that awareness and our residual strength, we can begin to change our patterns and create a new vision, to live our lives differently. One of the things that draws us to the use of Imago Relationship Therapy in our counseling and coaching practice, is that Imago allows persons in committed relationships to heal childhood wounds, whether from divorce or some other source. It is a priceless tool for creating the new vision.
Divorce is a terrible, painful thing. Yet I know that sometimes it is the only available resolution to a relationship in conflict. Perhaps with growing knowledge and understanding of some of the vulnerabilities that challenge us as adult children of divorce, we can move forward and experience healing. Perhaps we can even begin to reverse the divorce statistic.
Kenneth Sprang, MA, JD, and Carol Sprang, MA, RNC direct Bethesda-Chevy Chase Counseling & Consulting in Bethesda, offering Imago Relationship Therapy, relationship and executive coaching, individual and couples coaching and counseling, and business consulting services. (301) 907-3377. ken@singlestosoulmates.com. http://www.singlestosoulmates.com or http://www.bcccounseling.com
