How to handle the woman
Author: Galina Toktalieva

Short guidelines for beginners and those who plot affair in long unhappy marriage

To be successful in this sphere you must give up some illusions and myths, my boys, which were implanted in your beliefs by your own sexual needs and by hypnosis of media and sex industry.

The first popular myth is this: the woman seeks physical closeness and desires it as much as man and this energies her search for relationship.

The second myth, or rather false hope is rather typical for enthusiasts of internet dating agencies: the woman can immediately fall in love with man and get sexually excited at the spot as males usually do about young good-looking females, she will be impressed and excited even if man occurs to be bold specie in his fifties with globe belly and she is young exotic siren.

Men very often experience lack of such quality as healthy self-criticism.

Another point. He can be thirty and handsome – but it does not change the situation much, as long as it goes about being promptly excited. Your physical characteristics play definite role in seducing, but not primary one, while your human inner qualities, which usually demand much more time to apprehend – are scanned and examined by woman with much more attention than you can imagine.

And the third item of masculine myth-creativity: you are convinced that if you are lucky you can catch female who would become your more or less constant intimate partner without special efforts or expenses from your side. It really occurs sometimes, when the woman prefers to give you what you need and has her own schemes - apart from evident ones - which you have no idea about.

In fact the woman is not so easy to handle, perhaps it is fully impossible. You can have all proof of victory over her such as regular intimate life or something, but nobody knows, where on the earth she really is, when you make love to her, and soon your affection could be blown up as soap bubble. Easy catch gives superfluous impression of being possessed and handled. But it is illusion.

They say it is difficult to correspond to woman’s requirements. Something will be always wrong, whatever you do. No complete satisfaction. Continuous complaint and so on. The level of women’s demands is always too high, though, ashamed, they try to mask their captious attitudes.

Only man who really cares can bare this. And this was aim of Creator.

You have no real power over woman unless you drop the grain of love in her heart. When woman is in love, she is capable of everything and gives signs of being much more courageous than man.

Mechanical intercourses can give you temporary feeling of superiority, and you can throw the used condom out of the window on impulse - celebrating your manhood and sexual release. When you pass by one of huge hostels, where the students of State University in Moscow live, you can always notice the icicles of condoms hanging down from the branches of nearest trees like Christmas ornaments. These are numerous signs of young men achievements in their struggle with girlhood.

Formal intercourses – especially with preservatives, which protect and literally separate you from each other- mean too little for woman. Perhaps, the fact of intercourse being executed that reaches the painful zones of taboo in her consciousness means a lot.

Nobody really knows, what is going on between two persons in the seclude privacy of bedroom. Every couple has the mystery of their own. May be it is process of knowing each other first of all. You can’t hide anything from your partner- physical closeness is best psychological test. You are nude – your body and soul, your personality is uncovered, and every wrong movement or false tune, every item of selfishness and dishonesty are visible at once for both, and are transferred like electricity current from one to another.

You become one whole with the woman, even if you don’t intend it – as you enter her body, you enter her spirit too.

You are as two commuted vessels, and inner treasures and problems of both become extensions of each other.

If you keep something only for yourself, you can’t be really intimate with your lover. If you can’t share something - whatever it is: your connection with other woman or your wish to be free of your partner’s problems, your lies, your secretive negative thoughts about her or your intention to escape – all this prevents effective communication - and sex is the part of communication and blocks the transfer of energies from one partner to another.

Many men are spared of satisfactory sexual experiences, because they don’t understand this simple fact of connection between ethic incapability to share and unsatisfying sex sessions. They care too much about physical side of interaction with woman and miss the main point: sex was designed to be the climax of love. And it is selfishness and its numerous forms prevent them to experience gratifying intercourses, but not physiological reasons. Physical and mental things are closely connected, and when you have no real intimacy with woman, you will never have really enjoyable sex with her.

The first thing you need for symbioses of two nude bodies is trust. Sounds a bit odd. But if consider that all our physical attachments develop from the grain of babyhood, total trust of child sucking mother’s breast looks natural.

Married man or woman, who seeks affair, seeks and finds double self-damage: he violates the trust of life partner and hurts the woman, who is involved in affair with him. This damage returns to him without delay.

Trust and respect are best sexually arousing brain chemicals ever invented. Sex with strangers works perfectly because of that. We idealize strangers, who have presumption of innocence and had not done anything bad for us yet.

Sure, the trust will open female heart, and make her really longing for you.
Not hunger for physical exercises can do that, and not the form and size of particular parts of body or details of the act. All these elements are rather secondary.
Sex is metaphysical. Try to see behind the form, if you want to handle the woman.








--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Galina Toktalieva is writer and translator, author of Survival Diary http://members.aon.at/gali/

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------