CAN HIGH INTEREST LEVEL CONQUER RESENTMENT?
Author: Success Coach - Doc Love

Hi Doc,

I've taken all of your advice and used The "System" extensively. As a result, a girl I've been seeing has shown a high degree of interest in me. First: she's been the one to call me to go out places. Second: she's sent me emails telling me how special I am (she normally doesn't give out such nice compliments). Third: she's really comfortable and fun around me and she always smiles.

What's wrong, then? For starters, she waited until our fourth date to tell me that she has a two-year old son. Wow, was that a shock!

She's 22 now, but from an early age, she has had to be very independent due to the fact that most of the men in her life (including the father of her son) have been losers. Perhaps this is why she mentioned to me that she doesn't see herself ever getting married. Now this may be just talk, but obviously, it's on her mind.

I want to know how much can one expect from a woman who has become independent due to an jerk ex-boyfriend? Is a long-term relationship possible? I've never met a girl like her, and she's made it apparent to me that I'm pretty special to her. Should I wait and let her come to me? What is your experienced opinion?

I'd appreciate your insight, Doc. Thanks so much for you time.

Mario - who wants to know if she's a good catch

Hi Mario,

Let's look at the positives. The fact that she is comfortable and fun around you shows that she likes you (women with low Interest Level are always uncomfortable and never have fun). Your girl's smiles are also extremely encouraging. Why? Because the woman smiles in proportion to how much she likes you (Just make sure that her smiles never turn into snarls!). Her complimentary e-mails are also good indicators of high Interest Level (Let's hope they keep coming!). Last, her independence caused her to ask you out (Hooray for Independent Women! Imagine that - I'm siding with the Feministas!).

Don't be concerned about Miss Right waiting four dates before telling you about Junior. It merely says that she's a private person. During the first four dates, you two were just starting to get to know each other therefore, she was under no obligation to tell you about her family life. (If she hadn't told you about her small fry by the fourth date, you could be sure she was guilty of a grievous crime of omission.) She wanted to make sure she liked you. To me, it's a sign of a good mother.

We know that Miss Right has had high Interest Level in you for the four weeks that you've dated her. Our next step is to check her attitude. The sad fact is - she has had some bad experiences with a few key men in her life. What we want to know is if her resentment toward the perpetrators of past crimes will be directed at you some day.

If this girl has a truckload of man-hatred hidden away in her psyche, she will eventually dump it on your head, and you'll have to walk away from her forever. On the other hand, if her case of resentment is only superficial; and you play it cool and never crowd her, then she will soon realize that you are not like the male rats from her past - and she will cling to you like a koala bear hugs its favorite tree.

Yes, Mario, you should wait and let her come to you. In the meantime, continue asking for other home phone numbers until she tells you that you changed her view of men. You'll know this day has arrived when she tells you she loves you.

By the way, when she says that she doesn't want to get married, tell her you feel the same way - then continue practicing The "System." Pretty soon, she will start staring at engagement rings in the jewelry store window as you walk through the mall together. If she doesn't do this, then you can be sure that she's sworn off marriage.

With the amount of time you've spent with this girl, Mario, she is really too new to rate; but she strikes me as a good girl who just got some bad breaks. Watch her like a hawk; notice how she handles pressure and stress, and observe how she negotiates with you during your first disagreement. If Miss Right continues to act in the same sweet manner that she has for the first four dates, then as my Uncle Jethro Love would say: "I reckon she's a keeper."

Remember guys - after the first few months comes the really big job: keeping her mesmerized over the long haul.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at http://www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.

?Copyright DocLove DotCom








--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------