Communicate with your partner. Please!
Author: Trevor Barre

Another ‘Save Your Marriage’ free monthly E-zine brought to you by Trevor Barre – Life and Relationship Coach.

Issue 10/2001

Once we are married, or have entered into any serious relationship, we think we already know the other person quite well. We in fact know very little. I put it to you that the months and years ahead will reveal just how little you really know this person that you are madly in love with now, and if serious and open communication does not start soon, trouble is not far behind.

You both must learn to talk openly – about anything and everything. Nothing is ‘forbidden ground.’ Failure to do so will result in failure of that relationship. My wife and I have been married for 25 years and even now, we have to make a conscious effort at times to understand where the other person is coming from. Even now we have to spend time each week speaking through issues which if not dealt with early could later blow up in our faces later.

Make the decision now to begin communication with your partner. If you intend to be with that person for life – and any worthwhile marriage or relationship should have that sort of commitment – you must decide before problems come to begin talking together.

Begin your journey now by examining each area of your life - work commitments, level of exiting communication, home life, leisure activities and sport, sex (positions, satisfaction, frequency, etc), health and fitness, children, finances and spending, the future, etc - and ask your partner:
? How they feel about your involvement in each of those areas, or lack of?
? What bugs them about that area of your life?
? What pleases them?
? How could the situation be improved?
? What could be done differently?

Then reverse the roles and have your partner ask you the same questions. Make these enjoyable times as you have these discussions, perhaps discussing one subject a week. Learn from them, and most importantly, do not judge your partner for what they say, and do not argue!

The idea of open communication involves discussing these sorts of issues, before they become an issue. Then if a problem does arise, you and your partner have already established a solid groundwork, and accompanying guidelines.

Happy communicating!

Trevor Barre

This article may be freely distributed providing acknowledgement of its source is given and no alteration occurs to the article.

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As a life and relationship coach based in South Australia, I believe in the possibility of having a perfect life. I am trained and equipped to inspire passion, enthusiasm, and commitment in my clients, and I am committed to working with them to ensure they are always treated with respect, and honesty, and in full confidence.

My life and relationship coaching practice specialises in assisting people in the following areas:
? Couples wanting to improve their marriage or relationship
? Individuals looking to change their level of health and lifestyle
? Everyone needing to improve their communication skills
? People needing more balance in their life
? Everyone wanting to achieve their full potential
? People wanting to clarify their values, goals, and life purpose
? Individuals who want to effect important changes in their life
? Business owners/managers who need to improve their business
? Professionals/leaders looking for real purpose and direction

Coaching is not counselling or consulting. Instead, clients tend to think of me as their partner - helping them better understand where they are today, where they want to be in the future, and then guiding their progress towards those goals - while holding them accountable. Coaching is an interactive process where the majority of work is done over the telephone at a time that suits both the client and coach. Initial weekly contact is usual in order to produce the best results, and maintain effectiveness.

If anyone would like to benefit from working with a Life and Relationship Coach, they should be prepared to commit to one 30-minute weekly phone call with me at a time convenient to each of us, and be willing to make that commitment for a minimum of three months.

People may either visit my web site at http://www4.tpgi.com.au/stylish5/ or e-mail me at trevorbarre@tpg.com.au and reserve a FREE, no obligation 30-minute phone consultation. People visiting my web site can subscribe to free monthly E-zines on marriage, sales and people skills, and leadership, as well as finding a wealth of great resources.

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