The Seven Steps of Change
Author: Stacey Chillemi

The Seven Steps to the Beginning of Transformation.

The transformation process begins when you realize it is time to change and you finally develop the stamina to do what it takes to improve yourself. I created seven steps so that starting the program the right way will be easier for you. Your mind, body and soul all have to be on the same track, functioning as one or else the program will not work for you. The most important part of the program is the beginning. You have to have the correct perception of what you will be doing now and where you will be are headed for the future.

I used these seven steps myself to help me change my outlook on epilepsy. I was able love myself and not be ashamed that I was epileptic. I felt capable to live the life that I wanted to. I felt like a different, better person. I strongly believe that if you follow this program it will help to live your life as an epileptic proudly, creatively, and happily.

Below are the seven steps to lead you to a new beginning living with epilepsy.

STEP ONE:

PATIENCE - This is the first step to living a happy and healthy life with epilepsy is developing patience. You will need patience to work this program successfully. Changing your outlook on epilepsy is going to take time, devotion and hard work. Succeeding with this program comes by being patient in wanting to see results.

This exercise will help you even if you are already a patient person because it will relax you and increase your motivational skills simultaneously.

1. Take a hot bubble bath for fifteen minutes. Also, place an oatmeal bath in the water.

2. Lie in the bathtub and close your eyes, take four deep breaths slowly.


3. While you are taking these deep breaths clear all thoughts from your mind. Focus on the feeling of the warm water touching your body and the breathing techniques that you are doing at that moment.

4. Think about something positive and pleasant. Envision something that makes you happy. Focus on something that makes you feel good about yourself.

5. Let go of any negative thoughts that you have stored in your mind. Just to think about one thing that makes you feel good about yourself.

6. Take four more deep breaths, relax for a minute and get out of the bathtub.

7. Get dressed, go to a quiet place and sit on the floor. Close your eyes and slowly bend forward, relaxing any tight muscles that are causing you tension. Bend to the left, stretching your arms as far as they will go, then stretch to the right, repeating the movement.

8. Take five more deep breaths and say aloud “I have the patience to change myself and become the person I want to become in life.” Say, “I have epilepsy and there is nothing wrong with being an epileptic.”

9. Repeat step seven and eight

10. Take five more deep breaths and listen to yourself when you are doing this exercise. Concentrate on yourself while doing this exercise. Do not let any distractions impose on your quiet time. Do not think about anything except this exercise and the techniques it involves.


Changing your outlook on epilepsy means. Not letting your epilepsy take control of you. As I was growing up, I always made believe that I did not have epilepsy. By doing this, I was only hurting myself. Accepting epilepsy into my life has helped me tremendously. I have released much of the anger that I held inside myself, and have focused on other parts of my life; as a result, I have become a stronger person, extremely proud of the person I have become. You need to do the same. It may take time to get to this point. That is why you need to have patience to come to believe you can do anything you put your mind too. Thinking positive thoughts about yourself will help you get a long way in life.

STEP TWO:
Step two teaches you how to recognize all the wonderful things about yourself. Judging other people is very easy. Looking at ourselves honestly, however, is difficult. Sometimes we do not focus on ourselves because we have become so preoccupied focusing on everyone else that we forget number one. This step helps recognize all the good things about you. You will begin to have a more positive outlook on life. First, you need to ask, “What do I have to change about myself? What parts of my life need to be readjusted? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses?


Before you answer these questions, get yourself a notebook. To document your answers to these questions and keep track of your progress. The journal helps you see your characteristics and change the ones you dislike. Look at the positive things about yourself and commend yourself for the accomplishments that you achieved and work on changing the negative characteristics that we all carry within us. Begin the journal by listing all the positive things about yourself on the first page. Make a list that looks like the following.

THE POSITIVE THINGS ABOUT ME

Your Strengths

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.


Your positive points are the strengths that will take you through life. Start your journal with these positive characteristics. About yourself. Seeing your strengths itemized in your daily journal will give you encouragement. Each day as you open this journal, you will be looking at all the good things about yourself that will give you motivation to make this program achieve your highest potential. On the next page, create a list and write down your weaknesses. Make a list that looks as the following. Remember, be honest with yourself and make sure you focus not only on your strengths, but also on your weaknesses. Reviewing our weaknesses can help us see more clearly, what has to be changed in your lives.

THINGS ABOUT MYSELF THAT I NEED TO WORK ON

Weaknesses

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.


On the next page, list ten goals you want to do this week to change your outlook on epilepsy and how you feel about yourself. This will help you gain some insight into what you need to start doing for yourself. Start planning what you want the new you to be like. Each time you accomplish a goal, put a star next to it. Write down the date of when you achieved the goal. Create a list that looks like the following: MAKING THE NEW ME
Goal for The Week Date
1. Wrote a letter to five people with epilepsy. * 10/15
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.


Then I want you to list ten long-term goals of what you want to have accomplished and where you want to be in a month’s time. Focus on how you are going to accept your epilepsy, be proud of the person you have become and how you are going to change the characteristics about yourself that you do not like. Make the list look like the list I have created below:

CREATING THE NEW ME


Goals for The Month
1.
2. 3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Create a page in the beginning of the book called the priority calendar. Ask your self these questions.
Priority Calendar

What do you regret not having made more time for?

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

If you had more time, what would you do with it?

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

What are the top ten priorities in your life right now?

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.


What are your family-related goals?

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

What are your business goals?

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.



In the back of the journal, take a quarter of the notebook and title it your Daily Diary. Dedicate the diary to someone you care about and feel close too, someone who would be proud to see you accepting that you have epilepsy and living the life, you want to lead. Dedicating the journal to someone, you care about gives you motivation to want to change for the better. Write about the goals you accomplished and explain how it made you feel to reach them. Write about these achievements are making you into a better person and how their helping you with your epilepsy. Describe what you had to do to achieve the goals.
Date:________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

STEP THREE:


Step three is about the importance of self determination and how to develop it within you. Self-determination requires that you make an agreement with yourself and keep it. You must have faith in yourself that you are going to do anything that you put your mind to. Your motivation to accomplish this program will become easier as each day goes by. Saying you are going to improve is easy, but you cannot just say you are going to improve; you have to get out and accomplish the goals that you have set for yourself. You cannot accomplish too many goals in one day. Changing takes time and as step one says, "You need to have patience.” Try to accomplish one goal a week at first. Maybe two goals, if you have the time. Then accomplish another goal each week until you get to ten goals. These goals do not have to be difficult. You can set several little goals maybe only one large one. Working on yourself can be tough if you have a busy schedule; nevertheless, do not let that stop you. You have to make time for yourself. Remember; you come first in life. You need to believe that you are the best. You cannot take care of the people who mean the most to you or do the things in life that you want to do, if you are mental, physical and spiritual well-being is not intact and strong.

STEP FOUR:
Reward yourself every time you achieve a goal. Your achievements are important and you should not treat them lightly. For example, take in a movie or reward yourself with some quiet time to relax and focus just on yourself. To me there is nothing better than having sometime alone with you. Do something that makes you happy. Remember, you cannot make others happy until you are happy with yourself.

STEP FIVE:
In your journal, make a list called Record of Successes and itemize all the achievements that you have accomplished. Create a list of everything good you believe you have done for yourself. This will make you feel good about yourself. For example, include the following:



RECORD OF SUCCESSES THROUGHOUT MY LIFE
My Achievement
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
RECORD OF SUCCESSES DURING THIS PROGRAM
My Achievements
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
10.



STEP SIX:
Develop a special time in the day for quiet time. Studies have shown that individuals who have a daily quiet time are less likely to become ill, and heal faster from illness than those who do not. Take a few minutes during the day to write in your journal. Try to make it the same time each day. Perhaps when no one is home or just before you start the day in the morning. You could also wait until everyone goes to sleep so that no one will bother you. Give yourself at least fifteen minutes to a half hour. Relax, and while you are writing and relaxing ask yourself the question; “Where am I headed in life and where do I want to be a year from now?” Then write about it. Make sure you are focusing on the things you want to accomplish in life.
The only way you will succeed in this life is making sure that epilepsy does not control your life. You need to feel proud of the changes you are making with this program. Focus on what you have accomplished. Think about how you feel about having epilepsy while writing in this journal. The goal is to let yourself open up and write intimately and honestly about how you feel. This method helps heal your wounds so you can get on with your life. You have to learn to understand why you have reacted the way you have about having epilepsy. Think of ways to strengthen yourself spiritually and emotionally. Make sure you do not limit yourself because you feel sorry for yourself because you have epilepsy. That is self-pity and it is unhealthy. You will never get anywhere in life if you pity yourself. Free yourself from any walls you have built around yourself. This program will help you do that. Become the person you were meant to be.

STEP SEVEN:
Now repeat the seven-step process each day. Once you complete the seven steps go back and review the things you have written in your journal. These steps are a new way of life. Keep doing these seven steps each day until you get to where you want to be and you have become completely satisfied with yourself. There is so much knowledge out there for us to learn. It is there for anyone who wants it. I always add more goals to my list. You should always work on bettering yourself. Everyone is special everyone has something unique about them. It is your job to find out what those unique qualities are in you and how to make them work for you.








--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PROFILE
WRITER: STACEY CHILLEMI

I am thirty-two years old, married with three children. I am a writer and I recently published a book called “Epilepsy You’re Not Alone.” Epilepsy You’re Not Alone is an inspirational self- help book that teaches people with epilepsy how to live a healthy and productive life. The book shares encouraging stories and gives readers a workable program for coping with their disorder enabling readers to overcome their disorder and get on with their lives. My efforts have helped change women’s lives. Through my efforts, I have been able to show other women that are not impossible to become a mother. I have given people hope and a new look on life. Epilepsy is just a disorder. Your life does not end because you have epilepsy. Epilepsy awareness is improving and with people reaching out to help others with the disorder and to help society understand the disorder, was creating a pathway to a fulfilling future. There is a whole world in front of us. This world has millions of opportunities just waiting for people such as myself to encounter. It does not matter what age you are. You can achieve anything you put your mind too.

MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

I am an H.O.P.E. Mentor, for the Epilepsy Foundation. I have spoken at different events for schools, organizations, political events and anywhere my help is needed to educate people about epilepsy. I was on four talk shows. The interviews focused on the importance of understanding what epilepsy is, how to help someone having a seizure and giving people with epilepsy encouragement and hope for the future.

I have been on radio stations discussing epilepsy and I have appeared in many newspapers all over New Jersey such as, The Leader, Belleville Post and the Star Ledger. In addition, on June 26, 2002, I was honored an award by the Epilepsy Foundation of New Jersey for Outstanding Volunteer Award.

I am thirty-two years old, married with three children. I am a writer and I recently published a book called “Epilepsy You’re Not Alone.” Epilepsy You’re Not Alone is an inspirational self- help book that teaches people with epilepsy how to live a healthy and productive life. The book shares encouraging stories and gives readers a workable program for coping with their disorder enabling readers to overcome their disorder and get on with their lives. My efforts have helped change women’s lives. Through my efforts, I have been able to show other women that are not impossible to become a mother. I have given people hope and a new look on life. Epilepsy is just a disorder. Your life does not end because you have epilepsy. Epilepsy awareness is improving and with people reaching out to help others with the disorder and to help society understand the disorder, was creating a pathway to a fulfilling future. There is a whole world in front of us. This world has millions of opportunities just waiting for people such as myself to encounter. It does not matter what age you are. You can achieve anything you put your mind too.

MY NEWS:

I am in the current process of publishing two books on epilepsy. One book is called "Epilepsy and Pregnancy, What Every Women Needs to Know" and "My Mommy Has Epilepsy"

I have received awards in my achievements and certificates in recognition for outstanding efforts in trying to improve society. I have been an active participant in organizations and activities. I have been a role model to many individuals. I have published a book called, "Epilepsy You're Not Alone." I have written many articles on epilepsy, such as How Exercise Can Help Your Seizures, Coping with Epilepsy, Can Women with Epilepsy Have Babies and Why Children Have Seizures. She has also written self-help articles, such as 10 Steps to Self-confidence, Seven Steps to Loving Yourself, 4 Steps to High Self-esteem and Greatest relief for stress: Take some time each day for yourself. I have appeared three times on News 12 on the talk show New Jersey Women and has had articles written about her efforts to help people with epilepsy. I have contributed time in helping people with epilepsy and making society more aware of the disorder. I have had epilepsy for 27 years.

I am now in the process of having my second book "Epilepsy and Pregnancy," published. Dr. Blanca Vasques is co-authoring my book. I have recently written a children's book called "my Mommy Has Epilepsy" Exceptional Parenting is reviewing the children's book for publication.

Sincerely,
Stacey Chillemi

Phone (908) 347-3580*

Email:

Staceychil@aol.com

you can find my website with samples of my work on:

My website

http://www.authorsden.com/staceydchillemi

MY RESIDENCE INFO:

City: Manalapan
State/Country: New Jersey

BOOKS PUBLISHED:

Epilepsy You're Not Alone is a inspirational self- help book that teaches people with epilepsy how to live a healthy and productive life. The book shares encouraging stories and gives readers a workable program for coping with their disorder enabling readers to overcome their disorder and get on with their lives. Having to cope with epilepsy is tough. Many people with epilepsy feel as though they are alone. They feel they are trying to battle the disorder all by themselves. My aim in this book is to show readers how to live with epilepsy, empowering them to take responsibility for their life and well-being. Epilepsy Your Not Alone motivates people with epilepsy, urging readers to create their own unique journal by employing psychological and spiritual practices in combination with a variety of more traditional diet and exercise regiments. Epilepsy You're Not Alone teaches readers how to be their own designer, creating pathways to a fulfilling future. There is a whole world in front of you. This world has millions of opportunities just waiting for you to encounter. It does not matter what age you are. You can achieve anything you put your mind too.

Synopsis Epilepsy You’re Not Alone is a inspirational self- help book that teaches people with epilepsy how to live a healthy and productive life. The book shares encouraging stories and gives readers a workable program for coping with their disorder enabling readers to overcome their disorder and get on with their lives.

From The Critics
Lad - Star Ledger Newspaper
Chillemi is the author of epilepsy you're not alone, an inspirational book written for people living with epilepsy. inspired by her own battles with epilepsy, Chillemi wrote a book to give those coping with the disorder greater self esteem, hope and motivation to continue living normal life’s.

Print on Demand at Barnes & Noble.com - Kathleen Wells - Epilepsy You're Not Alone, 05/12/2000 Stacey was on their talk show New Jersey women sharing her experiences concerning epilepsy and her book.

Print on Demand at Barnes & Noble.com - Regina Mcenery - Epilepsy You're Not Alone, 08/19/1997 Stacey has a different attitude about life. No longer, shy about divulging her medical history. She is now hard at work on a book about her condition, hoping to dispel some of the unfortunate myths that have made it difficult for epileptics to keep jobs and friends.

Print on Demand at Barnes & Noble.com - Jo-Ann Reccoppa - Epilepsy You're Not Alone, 05/17/2000 The vivacious young mother does not believe in self-pity. Rather, Stacey believes in helping herself, thereby helping others with epilepsy in the process.

Print on Demand at Barnes & Noble.com - Wyatt Olson - Epilepsy You're Not Alone, 05/09/2000 Stacey Chillemi knows how defeating epilepsy can seem.

Customer Reviews

A reviewer, A reviewer, July 26, 2004,
LEARNING TO COPE WITH EPILEPSY
A reviewer, someone who reads many books. Epilepsy is a very hard disorder to live with emotionally, physically and mentally. Epilepsy Your Not Alone shows you how to cope with the disorder, look at life positively and gives you the inspiration you need to get on with your life. I recommend it to people who have the disorder, family members and friends.

HI Stacey!
My name is Donna, and I just want you to know that I bought your book a few years ago and it was very encouraging to me, really did get a lot out of it. I'd recommend it to anyone else who has E, and his or her family members who'd want to understand what it's like to live with this condition. It surely does help to know we're not alone in this.
A reviewer,
GREAT BOOK!
I just finished your book Epilepsy; You're not Alone and thought I'd tell you how much I appreciated it. The positive attitude was very refreshing and a welcome change from the 'Why me?' stories that I read so often.

A reviewer,
Finally an epilepsy book from a personal perspective
This book is an excellent self-help book from the perspective of someone who has epilepsy. All too often in books about epilepsy the point of view is that of a physician who personally does not deal with epilepsy on a day-to-day basis. It's nice to read what fellow epileptics have done in order to better cope with epilepsy. The personal accounts are inspirational.

Della Cruz Anchor/Reporter, Talk Show Host for News 12, February 11, 2002,
Editorial Reviews
'Life deals us many hard blows that we often don't expect. I admire the fact that someone like Stacey Chillemi was thrown a curve ball that may have knocked many of us down to the point where many of us may not have wanted to get back up, but she did. It wasn't easy but she possesses a determined spirit that won't let her give up. For that reason Stacey will go far and achieve whatever dreams she sets her mind to accomplish.'Della Crew

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------