we don't live under NORMAL CONDITIONS
Author: Rhonda Collins

If we lived in a world without wars, poverty, racism and sexism, dramatic disparities in material conditions, political deception and so on, would there be people who suffer from depression and other “mental disorders.” This is the question that the title of the documentary film we don't live under NORMAL CONDITIONS poses.

A number of years ago, suffering from depression myself, and angry that all the books and articles at that time trumpeted biological causes, I decided to make a film that looked at the broader social issues that I knew caused me a great deal of despair. So I brought together six people from different walks of life, sequestered them away for three days and asked them to talk about society and despair.

The result is a gripping, and at times painful, documentary that is also, not so surprisingly, inspiring. Suffering in silence only worsens depression. Trying to put on a good face, when inside you're in pain feeds depression. Talking about it, in a group with others who have shared the experience, is healing. Talking about some of the causes other than brain chemistry can be empowering. Empowering, because we can change our relationship to things outside of ourselves. We can change our attitudes. We can come to accept things that we can't control. And work on those things we can.

The group that came together for this film offers a particular brand of wisdom that derives from their own personal experiences with depression. I deliberately chose not to include the traditional experts in the film. In my estimation, the “patients” themselves are the experts in their own experience. They talk eloquently about depression, suicide, racism, the “house of power” that is the mental health system. Sonja talks about her fear of institutions that have the power to discriminate against her as a lesbian woman and a lesbian mother. This fear prevents her from seeking help from traditional sources. Alex has a different take. “I'm so far removed from that house of power,” she says, “I don't really worry about being perceived as abnormal, as in they might lock me up against my will or they might take something away from me…as a Black woman, I'm not even supposed to be here. It's clear so many places that I'm not even supposed to make it. So you're going to think I'm crazy? That's like the least of my worries. I'm not even seen.”

Kris would like to see a wellness model, a framework that doesn't pathologize the outer edges on the spectrum of normal human behavior, “as opposed to what the DSM IV is always referring to, the sickness the dysfunction, the pathology. To focus on our resilience and the healing powers that we have is very empowering. But for me to tell you how sick you are and put a lot of labels on you is not going to motivate you to feel better about yourself.” Talking about predetermination or predisposition, she goes on, “Psychiatry will say that there's a predisposition to X, Y and Z. And it's very different to say someone has a predisposition to sleep disorders as opposed to saying I do my best thinking or I'm most creative in the middle of the night. That's two completely different ways of describing the same experience.”

Winnie, not denying the dangers of labeling someone as predisposed, counters with the realities of major depression. “I think it goes back to what's normal and what's not normal. When does somebody become so depressed, they can't make it ten feet across the room to go to the bathroom because they have no energy. They can't get up and take a shower because they have no will. They don't want to live at all. And I think at that point it doesn't really matter whether you call the person normal or abnormal, it's can you keep them alive?”

There is some debate amongst the participants in the film about the pros and cons of therapy. Several would like to become therapists (and indeed have, subsequent to the film's completion). Sonja's experience suggests that her therapist discounted the broader world and believed that Sonja's anger about capitalism and imperialism stemmed from their symbolic relationship to her mother and father. Another group member suggests that this was just “bad therapy.” In any case it alienated Sonja sufficiently that she quit.

Sandra would like to empower individuals while acknowledging the social context in which they develop. “I do believe in the power of empowering people. But I want to put into perspective why someone who comes from Latin America to this country-not from Europe, but from Latin America-and is having a hard time learning English, why their self-esteem is trashed. As opposed to if somebody comes from France or Germany, and they sound cute.”

The making of this film for me was healing. I found a means through the group's experience to share my own internal experience, and that is very powerful. It is why good therapy can be so valuable. And why the stigma of depression in our society is so harmful. Cheer up, lighten up, pull yourself out of it. These types of statements always make it worse. Denying my own true experience is always harmful. I am a sensitive person. I care about the world. And as Sandra says at the end of the film, “If you look around, with your eyes open, and you don't feel the pain, I think there is something wrong, with you.”


Rhonda Collins is an independent documentary filmmaker based in Berkeley, California. Information about this and other films is available at www.aperiofilms.com







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Rhonda Collins is an independent documentary filmmaker based in Berkeley, California.

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