Guilt and Unworthiness - Understanding the Meaning of Your Negative Experiences and Feelings
Author: UnityLove

A chapter from "You Are the Grandest Love of All - God In Human Form" by UnityLove at Counselor of the Heart.com. Copyright 2004.

Each experience we have either shows us Who We Are ... or who we are not.

Experiences help us better define Who We Are and they show us the way to making grander choices. Experiences bring great insight along with a wealth of information about ourselves.

Our experiences become our guidance ... and remind us to return to Love in every way.

Let's address our perceptions regarding the bad or negative situations that have happened in our lives. Many of us are ashamed of some of these experiences and beat ourselves up continually because of them. We are going to shed a new light in how we can view these experiences in a different way. Below are explanations that we may not have considered before and could be of great assistance in helping us "understand ourselves better".

Did we know that one way we find out Who We Really Are ...
is by experiencing who we are not?

All experiences gift us with information … they give us the ability to compare what served us grandly and what did not.

Are we aware … that our life up to this point in time,
along with all our experiences and difficulties ... have now become our credentials?

Have we realized that the experiences we perceived as bad in our past, but have risen above and overcome the challenges in … prepared us to become a teacher to others who are going through the very same things we did? These experiences could be of rape, depression, alcoholism, drugs or almost anything. Are we noticing that certain people show up in our life … just because we went through those
experiences and can truly help them now? Have we stopped to think … that this could be all part of a Master Plan going on behind the scenes of life?

It is past time we address the guilt and unworthiness we carry within ourselves ... for it is keeping us from our grandest action ... Loving ourselves.

Loving ourselves is the key to our Divinity.
Love opens us to the wonder we carry within us.
It allows all our dreams to come true.

We are going to address the things that we have done in our past that seem so uncomfortable for us to bear. These are things we have put ourselves down about, beat ourselves up for, made ourselves miserable over, and make ourselves less by, each minute we think about them.

There was a Divine Reason for those experiences … Love sees it ... do you?

It is much easier to define God in terms of what God is not ... than it is to define God in terms of what God is. Think about this dear one, there is great wisdom in this statement. This defining process applies to us as well.

It becomes easier for us to define ... Who We Truly Are and would like to be ... when we re-evaluate the experiences that showed us who we are not.

This gives us a much clearer picture of what we do not want to express next time. It is at that moment of feeling unhappy ... that we become aware. We gain a much clearer picture of what not to choose again. Many times the wiser answer comes easily through this negative experience because it just happens to be the opposite of what we chose to begin with. These particular experiences guide us in seeing how to change our choices for the better in the future. They show the way to a grander choice of what we would really like to express.

Without these experiences stored within us acting as a reminder ... we would keep repeating the same patterns over and over.

When we have had experiences in which we did not seem to express our best ... it becomes important to realize "what" those experiences really did do for us. These experiences left a bad taste in our mouth and perhaps made us feel bad for they did not work out the way we desired.

Their job was to show us ... how to make grander choices for our future ... and our job was to notice what we were being shown.

Therefore experiencing who we are not, is not a bad thing ... but a door-opening event to help us understand who we really would like to be. The only reason we feel bad is because we have not realized the grandeur in it all. These experiences are actually Divine ... for contained within them is a wonderful gift. The gift is "choice". When we make a grander choice than we did before, our new choice brings about change.

Change becomes the chisel ... that rounds off the rough edges of an unsculpted piece of art ... bringing it to its true and final beauty.

Dear one ... You are not only the piece of art being sculpted ... but you are the sculptor!

A negative or bad experience helps us define what we did not like and were not happy with. It helps us "find" something much grander within ourselves that we might not have considered before. It helps us realize there were different choices available to us … the choices that would have brought what we liked and what would have made us happy in that particular life situation.

These experiences happened for a reason. If we are wise, we will make a record of what happened ... and use it to our advantage.

Once we realize what we do not want ... we open to a whole different range of choices … that can help us feel and experience better next time.

For how can we call forth God Expression in Human Form ...
if we cannot define what it is?

We encounter these negative feelings and experiences to notice there is a grander choice of Love, a better way of feeling and a more beautiful expression awaiting us.

In the case of guilt and unworthiness ... there is a grander choice of Love for ourselves awaiting us.

Each time we choose Love in any expression ... we step more fully into our Divinity. The Divine Plan works in many ways to bring us into our grandness.

So understand, dear one ... even our negative experiences show us the way ... to God Expression in our human form.

As we carry these past experiences and memories around within us, instead of feeling bad about them ... we need to thank them for what they have really done for us.

They are there to help remind us not to repeat those situations again ... and they also show us the way to a better expression.

The negative feelings we get from these experiences assist us in making grander choices the next time around … so we will feel better. Each time they rise within us, they remind us not to repeat that particular action, situation or experience in the same manner we did before ... if we want to be happy, that is. Negative reminders call out to us saying, "Hey don't forget we learned this before!"

When we take heed ... we are Re-born ... a new us arises.
And it is all because of the awareness we now hold …
due to our past actions and our negative experiences.

So it is time to stop beating yourself up and putting yourself down. It is way past time to Love yourself and hold a higher consciousness and understanding for your own sake, dear one.

Become gentler to yourself. Allow yourself to have had those experiences ... for they hold much wisdom in what not to do again. You've gone through something. You've learned something. You now see new and grander choices.

All these type of things that you hold and walk around with are not there to torment you ... but they are there to remind you of ... "who you are not" and of the choices not to make again. Negative experiences are not your cross to carry ... they are your Angels holding the Light so you can see clearly in a similar darkened situation.

It is all about Love ... It Always Was

It is all about finding the Love in a particular situation that challenges us. Love "was the reason" these experiences were presented to us to begin with. In fact many of life's situations are presented exclusively to see if we can find the Love. Finding Love for ourselves is one of our hardest challenges. When we find the Love and Love ourselves again ... that particular experience and lesson ends. Do we know why? Because we now know how to hold the Love being called for … even in the hardest of times. Do we not see it is all a Divine Plan to get us to our grandest human expression yet? That is, of course, if we do not use those experiences against ourselves.

In any experience in our life all we need to do is find the Love in the experience … along with finding the Love for whomever is involved in it. We are dealt many hands in life ... some of them are pretty drastic and really tough. Our challenge is to always find the Love, in every situation and experience we are involved in. And most of all it is in finding the Love for ourselves … no matter what we have done.

When we find the Love ... we feel the Love ... we experience the Love ... and others experience the Love coming from us.

We are here on this planet ... to find, hold and express the Love We Truly Are, no matter what is going on in our life, or around us.

The way we become aware and understand the Love That We Are ... is by going through all those experiences of who we are not.

Negative experiences help us stand on guard ... so we do not repeat the same situation over and over. It is the negative experiences that project us right into Who We Are.
It is Love coming as a helpful friend to remind us.

Find the silver lining in any bad experience and we go past the illusion of anything being bad … into the grand awareness and wisdom hidden as a gift in that particular experience. And it is in this way that negative experiences show us the way to what will serve us grandly in our next experience. This is the way to happiness and feeling good as we go through every situation in our lives. It is in the realization that the negative experience … wasn't really bad at all.

How our negative experiences ... open the doors for us to help others.

When we go to help another but we have not had that particular experience ourselves ... the one looking for help listens to us in a certain way. But after we explain to this individual that we have gone through the very same experience as he or she has ... something unique happens in the way this person listens to us from then on.

The door to their heart opens in the most beautiful of ways ... because this person comes to realize we truly do understand ... their feelings, their hurt, their pain ... and their all of it.

To this individual, you become a genuine teacher... because you also experienced this first hand and survived it. You are able to truly guide this person in how to feel better and make grander choices in their life because of your experience in common. Isn't it wonderful how it works?

We first come to know Who We Are …
and then we are given the gift of helping others see ... and step into Who They Are.

So the next time you cannot find one good thing about a certain experience in your life ask yourself ... Have I stopped and realized the wisdom, knowledge, clarity, strength and understanding I truly gained from that experience? Do I now see a clearer path to the choices that would have better served me better and what qualities I need to call on … for who I want to be and express next time? Do I see how this experience also held a gift in "sculpting me into a teacher" with much wisdom to share … so I can truly be of service to those that come to me who are having a similar experience?

One special note …

A negative or bad experience is all in the eye of the beholder. It all boils down to the perspective one holds and how they see the situation.

But in truth … everything serves us, dear one.

It is our perception that determines if the experience will be held as a positive or negative one. Anything we experience can be looked at in several ways … but know that anything held in a negative way can be looked at positively. It all depends on if we use the mind alone … or if we bring our heart into it as well.

Our challenge is to find the Love, goodness and silver lining ... in every experience no matter how tough it was or may be.

I would like to share an experience from my life that really shook me up. It is given to help you fully understand a perspective of Love and how things work behind the scenes for our greater good.

Throughout my life I was presented with many experiences that were geared to get me to speak up for myself. Every time an experience showed up in my life to get me to do this, I failed to stand up for myself and then more experiences were presented. The reason the experiences kept coming was … I hadn't found enough Love for myself to honor myself. At age fifteen my boyfriend raped me. Still very much a child, I was not ready for a sexual encounter mentally or emotionally. I cried the whole time the rape was happening … but I did not take any other actions to make him stop. I did not speak up or stand up for myself nor did I protect myself or show resistance in any way. I thought the boy should have known better ... I thought he definitely could see me crying and would know this was not appropriate.

As crazy as it sounds, I stayed with him for years and any sexual contact we had was like experiencing the rape over and over again. Every time it happened, I was given another chance to Love myself enough to say what I felt in my heart and walk out. This was all happening because of my refusal to think enough of myself. I could have put an end to what was happening at any time. All I had to do was take a stand and hold my own ground. But my silent loveless pattern continued and so did the experiences. After a traumatic event with this boy, two officers took an hour and a half out of their day to explain the facts of life and Love to me … and because of them, I finally woke up.

I did not realize this at the time I was experiencing it, but looking back, I now fully understand why it all had happened. Many times in my life, I was presented with experiences to speak up for myself … which I chose over and over not to do for various reasons. Divine Love was asking me … How tough do things have to become before you stand up for yourself? How many uncomfortable experiences must be sent … for you to awaken to Loving yourself? How long will you wait before you finally honor yourself? After many attempts of trying to get me to see and do this for myself ... the Divine Plan took me into one of my hardest lessons in life. It was presented out of Pure Love to help me awaken to one of the most important things in life … Loving myself. The reason for the experience was to find enough Love for myself to say … "No". This is "not acceptable" and walk out no matter what anyone else thought or wanted. It was all about me finally finding the Love I needed for myself, the Love that I had been missing the whole time.

Now as I look back ... I no longer see this as a negative experience. I realize it was all to bring me back to the Love I should have been holding for myself all along. The boy was but a character in my life that came to push me beyond my loveless boundaries. His role was to challenge me more than any other situation before … so I would finally come to honor myself and say "No".

The experience was all Divinely Created ... so I would finally say and do what I needed to for myself, and find the Love I so desperately needed as well.

When we come to understand that every experience we have... is but to find the Love or gift hidden in it ... it all gets pretty simple. Understanding brings great wisdom. Wisdom is Love. Love is Wisdom. The more you understand that these experiences were but a way for you to see "how to shine next time" ... the more you will begin to Love yourself again.

You have been gathering what you need ... for the grandest human walk you have ever taken ... your grandest human expression ever ... for you are being sculpted to Express God in Human Form.

Would God not Love Itself, honor Itself and Its Temple in every way? All is well ... it always was. Once you finally take the time to Love yourself enough, you will show Love beyond compare in any situation, no matter what is happening in your life. This is one of the ways life works behind the scenes to help you become all you can be.

It has all been a plan for you to stand in All Your Glory and Shine like you never have before. It is time to see yourself in a new light through the eyes of Love. Stop putting yourself down and hurting yourself. Rise to Who You Really Are and realize the "gift" you truly received from all those experiences. You have waited so long to be Loved and approved of, dear one … allow yourself the pleasures and rewards of Loving and "honoring yourself".

Remember, You Are that Piece of Art being Sculpted ... Sculpt Yourself Divine!


From: "You Are the Grandest Love of All - God In Human Form"
by UnityLove, Copyright 2004
http://www.counseloroftheheart.com/book.htm








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UnityLove is the author of "You Are the Grandest Love of All - God In Human Form" offered on Counselor of the Heart.com. A web site helping all others achieve their hearts' desires and find happiness in every way.

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